BASICALLY IT CONSISTS ON A CREW OVERACTING CONTINUALLY MEANWHILE A DIRECTOR GIVES THEM BASIC INDICATIONS. THE CAMERA MAN TRIES TO CONTACT THE DIRECTOR TO TELL HIM/HER THAT SOMETHING IS GOING WRONG BUT UNSUCCESSFULLY. EVENTUALLY THE LAST TAKE HAPPENS TO BE A GOOD ONE AGAIST ALL ODDS AND THE CAMERA TELLS THE DIRECTOR THAT HAD NO BATTERY. THE SKETCH FINISHES WITH THE CLASSICAL CHASE OUT.
THESE ARE THE DIFFERENT MUSICAL THEMES ACCOMPANYING THE PERFORMANCE OF THE ACTORS/ACTRESSES:
MUSICAL BACKGROUND
SUSPENSE OR DRAMATIC, RHYTHMICAL, MILITARY, HEROIC, SCARY, ROMANTIC, FAST, SLOW, DRUNKARDS, NORMAL
END (THAT´S ALL FRIENDS)
SPANISH VERSION
EL RODAJE DE LA PICADURA FATAL
PERSONAJES
EL NIÑO SUFRICIO
EL PADRE
LA MADRE
EL POLICÍA ACOMPAÑANTE
EL DOCTOR COMPLETO CRIMINAL
EL CÁMARA
EL EQUIPO DE SONIDO
1
2
DIÁLOGOS
DING DONG
- EL NIÑO SUFRICIO SNIFF, SNIFFF
- EL PADRE QUÉ PASA NIIIÑO
- EL NIÑO SUFRICIO PAPAAAÁ TENGO UNA TERRIBLE NOTICIA: MIRA AQUÍ UNA MORDEDURA FATAL…
- EL PADRE QUÉ ME ESTÁS CONTANDOOOOO¿? ¿UN LEÓN, UN ROTWEILLER, UN POLÍTICO: QUÉ HA SIDO?
- EL NIÑO SUFRICIO UN POLLOOOO… BUAAAAH
- EL PADRE ¿QUÉ?
- EL NIÑO SUFRICIO ME HA PICADO ¡¡¡UN POLLOOOO!!!
- EL PADRE ESO ES TOTAL MENTE Y EN TODO PUNTO INCONCEBIBLE. (ENSEÑA UN MONTÓN DE PAPELES) DE ACUERDO CON MIS ESTUDIOS… LOS POLLOS… ¡¡¡NO PICAN!!!
- EL NIÑO SUFRICIO JOOOO… PERO ME DUELEEEEE
- EL PADRE ESO NO ES VERDAD.
- EL NIÑO SUFRICIO SÍ ES VERDAD. ME DUELE MAZO.
- EL PADRE NO PUEDE SER VERDAD. TE LO DIRÉ CON EL FAMOSO ANTONIO MANCHADO Tu verdad no; la verdad / y ven conmigo a buscarla. /La tuya, guárdatela.
- EL NIÑO SUFRICIO DIRÁS ANTONIO MACHADO.
- EL PADRE ESA ES TU VERDAD. (PAUSA)
- EL NIÑO SUFRICIO BUENO TE RECUERDO QUE ME DUELE BUAAAAAAAH.
- EL PADRE AMPARIIIIN LLAMA AL METGE.
- LA MADRE UYUYUY… ¿AL DOCTOR COMPLETO CRIMINAL QUE PRIMERO COBRA Y LUEGO PERPETRA? BUENO… ¿QUÉ OPCIÓN TENEMOS? (MARCA)
- LA MADRE ¿DOCTOR GÓMEZ?... ES POR SUFRICIO… UN MORDISCO DE UN ANIMAL… CARNÍVORO CREO… ROTWEILLER? … NO SÉ QUE ES ESO… AQUÍ LE LLAMAMOS POLLO. HASTA AHORA. VIÉ PACÁ
DING DONG
- (AMPARO) LA MADRE YA ESTÁ EL DOCTOR AQUÍ.
- LA MADRE HOLA DOCTOR PASE Y VEA A SUFRICIO. HA PERDIDO MUCHA SANGRE.
- (DESPUÉS DE VERLE) LA MADRE ¿ES GRAVE?
- CREO QUE HABRÁ QUE AMPUTAR. Y DESPUES SERÁ UNA AMPUTADA.
- (DIRECTOR) CORTEN CORTEN ¿CÓMO SE PUEDEN SALTAR EL GUIÓN DE ESTA MANERA? ¿DÓNDE DICE AMPUTADA? DICE SERÉ IMPUTADO. ADEMÁS TIENEN QUE HACERLO MÁS
- MUSICAL, MARCIAL, FÚNEBRE, LENTO, RÁPIDO, DIVERTIDO
EEENGLISH VERSION
INTRODUCTION:
A CHICKEN HAS BITTEN ME!
THIS ONE SCENE PLAY IS VERY FUNNY. THIS IS THE FILMING OF A PLAY. THERE IS A DIRECTOR, A CAMERAMAN AND THE ASSISTANTS.
THEY’RE FILMING A FAMILY SCENE. THERE IS A BOY WHO IS ABOUT THIRTEEN.
THIS BOY HAS A PET. THE PET IS A CHICKEN. AND YOUKNOW THAT CHICKENS BITE. SO THE BOY GETS HURT BY ITS PET. AND HE RUNS TO TELL THE PARENTS.
THE HOME HOUSES TWO GRANDPARENTS AND THE BOY’S PARENTS. THE PARENTS ARE AT HOME. THEY HAVE RECEIVED THREE VISITORS. THE BOY IS BEING CARRIED BY TWO ASSISTANTS.
YOU WILL ENJOY NOW THE PLAY “A CHICKEN HAS BITTEN ME”
A FILMING SCENE IS GOING ON. DIRECTOR GIVES ORDERS TO THE CREW.
THE CAMERAMAN TRIES IN VAIN TO TALK TO THE DIRECTOR.
DIRECTOR: - SLIGHTLY DRAMATIC… LIGHTS, CAMERAS, ACTION.
A STUNT COMES AND SHOWS THE HAND SCREEN. LOOKING AT AUDIENCE:
OFF VOICE: - SCENE ONE TAKE ONE OF “A CHICKEN HAS BITTEN ME”. SLIGHTLY DRAMATIC.
A KID RUNS TO HIS PARENTS AND GRAND PARENTS, SHOUTING IN PAIN.
THEY ARE RESTING IN THEIR CHAIRS. SUDDENLY THEY STAND ALARMED.
KID: - A CHICKEN HAS BITTEN MEEEE!
GRANNY: - OH MY GOD! POOR CHILD!
MOTHER: - WHERE, WHEREEEE? SHOW ME. DOES IT HURT YOU?
FATHER: - DON’T WORRY: WE WILL CALL THE DOCTOR.
GRANDPA: - HERE I HAVE THE PHONE NUMBER. I’LL CALL HIM STRAIGHT AWAY!... (TALKING THROUGH THE PHONE) DOCTOR? DOCTOR? THERE IS AN EMERGENCY!!!
DOCTOR: - I’LL BE THERE RIGHT AWAY!
DOCTOR KNOCKS THE DOOR. ENTERS WITH THE TWO NURSES.
DOCTOR: (TO THE MOTHER) WHAT HAS HAPPENED? WHERE IS THE WOUND?
FILM DIRECTOR: - CUT, STOP, STOP… (WORRIED) I TOLD YOU TO ACT DRAMATICALLY. IT MUST BE VEEEERY DRAMAAATIC. CRYING! WEEPING! UNDERSTAAAND???
THE CAMERAMAN TRIES IN VAIN TO TALK TO THE DIRECTOR.
- VEEERY DRAMATIC… LIGHTS, CAMERAS, ACTION.
A STUNT COMES AND SHOWS THE HAND SCREEN. LOOKING AT AUDIENCE: - SCENE ONE TAKE TWO OF “A CHICKEN HAS BITTEN ME”. VEEERY DRAMATIC.
THUS, THERE ARE: TAKE THREE: NOT SO DRAMATIC. THERE IS NEED TO MAKE IT MORE MUSICAL. TAKE FOUR: NOT SO MUSICAL, BUT QUITE HAPPY. A BIT MORE MARTIAL: DO IT MILITRY. NO, NO WAY!!! TAKE FIVE: NOT SO HAPPY BUT FASTER. TAKE SIX: FAST, DRAMATIC, HAPPY, A BIT MUSICAL… MUST BE PERFECT.
WHEN EVERYONE CELEBRATES THE GOOD TAKE (THE PERFECT TAKE) THE DIRECTOR ADDRESSES THE CAMERAMAN: -WHAT DID YOU WANT TO TELL ME ALL THE TIME????
AND THE CAMERAMAN SAYS:
- SIR I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT THE CAMERA’S BATTERIES HAVE FINISHED, ARE DEAD, KAPUT - NOTHING RECORDED….
AND ALL RUN TO CATCH THE IRRESPONSIBLE CAMERAMAN.
THE END
